A conversation that Avram and I are having over e-mail right now:

Sara: I just saw Ed Norton!!!!

Avram: oh my gosh!
where?
if you see him agian tell him wilde lake sucks and oakland mills rules!
also tell him he is awesome and gives hope to everyone from columbia, md
who wants to get it with hot chicks like selma hyak

S: ok Avram i'll tell him

A: awesome!
you are the best
where is he at?
can i go take a picture of him on my camera phone?
too cool
invite him to lunch with us also

S: actually we are going back to his hotel so wont be able to make it to
lunch

A: ask if i can come too

S: It's a private engagement.

A: wait a second
why would the most famous Columbian, and the grandson of James Rouse, the founder of Columbia need to stay in a hotel in DC?
that makes no sense.
thats like saying the queen of england needs a hotel when in manchester

S: cuz he is a CELEBRITY

A: would rudy guliani need a hotel room if he was in long island?
i dont think so
better luck next time
but if you are telling the truth ask if i can hang out too
i can go chill in the lobby for an hour or so if you need private time

S: i dont need you hanging around- he is only going to be here for tonite and then its back to la. maybe he doesnt have time to see his family

A: can i at least say hi to him you can call me if he's around
it would mean a lot to me
i bet he likes hearing from his subjects i mean fans from columbia

S: i bet he doesnt. i dont know what you would say
you asked schwartzmen when rushmore 2 was coming out