There's a lot to make me crazy, and a lot is always going on.

This past week was bullshit. My vacation was great and relaxing, but of course as soon as you go back to real life it is always the same. Tuesday morning someone that I have had a major crush on for months deleted me as his friendster, after we had only been friendsters for a week. I guess he couldn't handle the pretty innocent message that I sent him or he was just an asshole! It was a big kick in my face and of course I had to cry about that at my desk for a little bit. The positive outcome of it was that it made me realize that what everyone was saying for months, that he was crazy and not good for me, was true. I feel good about it now, I think I am finally ready to get him out of head, for the most part.

On Wednesday, I had the worst cramps ever in the world. They hit me around 3:30 p.m. and I had to stay at work until 6;00 p.m. because it was just me and another assistant in the office and she was leaving at 4:30 and someone always has to be at their desk to answer phones until 6:00. So after that I came home and went immediately to bed. Sarah came in my room at 10:00 p.m. and woke me up, she didn't know if I was home or not and my light was on. When I looked at the clock I freaked and out and shot straight up and couldn't believe that I was late for work. Sarah has to reassure me that it was 10:00 at night. Then I got up for a little and then read in bed and was asleep around 1:30 a.m.

Thursday morning I felt great and had a pretty good day, until late in the afternoon, when I had to tell people at work that they were being contradictory in their email. For some reason, this one person would not listen to me and I had to control my anger over that. I am smarter than a lot of people in my office, but since I don't know jack shit about Compensation they don't take my opinion seriously and think I am stupid. Wrong - asshole. Anyway after that, I went to happy hour, which turned into happy nite. It started at the Reef on the roof - me, Sarah, Kelly, Pri, John and Liz. Then Caroline met us and we went over the Asylum for snacks. I had already had 3 beers at the Reef. As Caroline and I were walking over to B&K for cigarettes, I saw aforementioned ex-crush walk into his place of employment across the street. I had to freak out for a minute, but then I was over that. At Asylum, we had a quick beer and bite to eat. Everything is quick at Asylum because they play this crazy metal music that possesses your soul and makes you stand up and punch your fists in the air as your head has to flair around. We knew we had to get of there quick. I kept trying to say that we should take a shot and then throw the shot glasses across the room against the wall. Kelly had the password to get into Heaven's 80s nite for free, so we decided to do that. At some point Caroline had given me a Xanax. We danced in front of the John Hughes movies at 80s nite and it made me very happy until, I started to get done with dancing and Caroline drove me home. I had to cry a little in the car, that's what xanax does to me, make me all emotional and crazy. Then I went to bed.

The next morning I woke up with the most massive headache and had to call in sick for work. I literally could not walk into the light, it hurt so much. Then I spent the rest of the morning in various positions on the matress and in the bathroom throwing up until most of stomach lining was in the toilet. I know that is pretty graphic, but I felt like shit. Then I went into work like a real trooper. Because I had left the other assistant there all by herself and I knew she had to leave at 4:30. I got a lot of sympathy from people when I told them about my headache, but really I had been fucked up all morning and I felt guilty. But they put me through so much shit there that I didn't feel that bad.

Friday nite I took it easy and stayed in a watch cheesy dating shows and cleaned my room. I felt a lot better, but I realized why I always go out, because those dating shows make you feel depressed and that's all that's really on tv on Friday. I always feel so much better when I clean my room.

I woke up this morning feeling well rested with no alcohol in my body. It felt really fucking great. I met Kelly for coffee and I didn't even drink coffee (I didn't need it for a first). Instead I had a soy chai, now I am waiting for Sarah to come home so that we can go to the pool.