I love Liz Crow. Today she wrote the funniest thing ever in life and made me have a laughing/crying/stop breathing moment in my cube. Ask Sarah about it - she called me during this breakdown and I could not speak. Sarah sorry that I had to hang up on you.

Come be a part of the fastest growing trend in the DC Metro area.

Sign up at the DCI Mammal Playcenter today and before you know it you can be one of many who leaves notes for me on my dry erase board, calls me at my desk, sends me e-mail, takes smoke breaks with me, as well as joins me for lunch in one of the many delicious Silver Spring restaurants. Membership also includes exclusive invitations to the Silver Spring lunch crew, which meets every Friday at 1:00 p.m.

What are you waiting for?

The DCI Mammal Playcenter is the place to be.

*The stars love me*

Stars are improving today, and you may feel as if a huge weight has lifted. You are brought into contact with your need to accept attention and (yes!) even perhaps adulation. Also, you're asked by the universe to learn how to relax and have fun.

Haircuts, t-shirts, Wizards and Unicorns!

What a fantastic weekend I have planned. After finding Paris Hilton's new apparel (see picture below) I must spend time this weekend putting cute little slogans on t-shirts. Some of the approved slogans:

* Front: Messy hair. Back: Big Face.
* Front: Want to Back: or no?
* From Mammals to Robots (which is the new band name)
* I mean ...

I also NEED to get my haircut. It is so dry in this weather and I definitely need some new BedHead products. They rule my world.
We saw the most amazing show last nite at Fletcher's - the Unicorns and the Stills. The Unicorns wear pastel pink - one in a suit, one in a vest and one in suspenders. Suspenders has the most beautiful lips and his eyes glisten through his straight hair that covers all of his face except for his lips. Mwah!! During their set a man with a mullet wig (he was with the band) spat beer on Sarah and I. After the show I bumped into this boy and told him that he spit beer on us. He asked me how I felt about that. I mean ... at first I was totally grossed out, then I wiped Sarah's face with my scarf and she did the same for me. Then we laughed and then I felt really rock-n-roll. The Unicorns' drummer asked us to come party with them - but Sarah had to take care of some business back in D.C. and even though I was pissed we left. The Stills were unbelievable. We were right up front - I could see up their nostrils. During the last song, "Yesterday Never Tomorrows" I cried. I know it sounds cheesy, but I was so moved. Cigarettes - silhouettes. Liz invited the Unicorns to her Super Bowl party because they are playing a show at the Black Cat on Sunday and they need to watch the game and party before the show. Yay party with the Unicorns/Super Bowl Sunday.
In other sports news I am going to see the Suns v. Wizards game on friday. If you remember back to Junior year - I was obsessed with Tom Gugliotta. Why you may ask? Because he went to my high school and I'm sorry but that's fucking cool. And maybe I will venture to the Diner at some point and try my luck again.

I hope it is a magical weekend for all!!

Have you noticed that the blogspot ads that run at the top of your blog? I know what you are up to even though you haven't told me.

Avram: Jewish Young Adults and Free Roommate Ads. And in a related search girlfriend.

Sarah: Publishing Blogs. And in a related search dream lyrics.

Liz: Insominia Remedies and Sleep Disorders. And in a realted search Mars Global Surveyor.

Berger: Hollywood Movie Posters and Kill Bill. And in a realted search Tarentino, the Matrix and Comics.

Me: Punk Clothing and Emo/Indie Rock. And in a related search punk lyrics and bands.

Oh yeah, I am going to see the Stills and the Unicorns tonite at Fletcher's.

Yay!

Another reason to love Insound:

"So, maybe it's just me and maybe you all don't see what's going on here but every week I am completely enthralled and baffled by Seth Cohen's storyline in 'The O.C.' I mean, this kid is like knee-deep in tail. He's literally fighting off the hottest girl in school and some other totally adorable, but maybe a little clingy, punk rock girl who has definitely bought the new Belle & Sebastian DVD to impress him. Not that the show explicitly says that. But I think it's kind of implied. Anyway, my point is that the whole Ryan/Marissa love story is really the 'red herring' of 'The O.C.' and that the real story here is the triumph of the indie rock kid in the face of high school superficiality and materialism.

And so all this reminded me that real life isn't like this except for on Valentine's Day, which is coming up soon. On Valentines Day, the indie rock boys totally get rewarded for their mix tapes and their hack poetry and that's sort of why all you guys need to buy pretty much every new release below. Air. Notwist. Numbers. Stereolab. Seriously, you've got mix tapes to make. And really, how many times can you recycle the same Elliott Smith and Bright Eyes songs. Plus, I'm dreadfully afraid that because of 'The O.C.' that the jocks are onto us and then what happens if they start making mix tapes with like Death Cab and American Analog Set on them. See where I'm going with this? We must advance and evolve. Constantly coming up with new songs for the mix tapes. Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee. Look out prom queens. It's our time to shine. Our time."

Where is my indie rock boyfriend?

Things are weird:

1. I had a David Lynchian dream last night that involved planning a camping trip in the woods with a map that appears in my dreams from time to time.

2. This morning on CNN I watched an interview with a college-aged woman who's $20,000 winning scratch off ticket was stolen by the store clerk. I won $2 on a scratch off in Olney about 2 months ago and I have not yet cashed it. I think I should because maybe this story is a sign that when I trade my ticket in for a new one I will win big. I have been lucky lately. I won tickets to the John Waters Meet n Greet and yesterday I won a backpack from MTV.com for being in the top five for week 14 of the RW/RR Fantasy Challenge. Also, I think that things (both good and bad) come in groups of 3.

3. I aged like 10 years in my sleep last nite. I have two defined wrinkles on my forehead and wrinkles under my eyes. I think I need a shot of Botox.

THE END HAS NO END

I don't think that I have been sleeping properly since Thursday. On Friday I woke up with a sharp shooting pain in my left back. On Saturday nite, I had a dream that Sarah, Perry and I were walking down the street and all of a sudden a duck got out of a taxicab and and b-lined straight toward us and started poking us with his beak. Our only response was to lay down on the ground while the duck did this. (The duck was white and not cartoonish at all. It was a real duck.) So all day Saturday, I was on a mission to find a duck that had a likeness to the one I dreampt of so I could befriend it. Alas, you cannot find a duck on a keychain in DC, at least one that is not a cartoon. Sarah - being the good little mammal that she is - deciphered what this dream meant:

To see ducks in your dream, either represents spiritual freedom (if flying) or it represents the unconscious (if swimming). Ducks are rather multi-talented animals that can walk, swim and fly and thus may represent your flexibility and in blending into various situations. Alternatively, the dream may also indicate that you are setting yourself up or being set up for the kill as associated by the phrase "sitting duck". Also, the duck may be a pun on "ducking" some issue or situation, instead of confronting it head-on.

To see a white duck in your dream, signifies falsehood and deceit.

I like to fall asleep with the TV on. It keeps me company while I enter into dreamworld. I keep the remote on my bed (either over or under the covers.) If it is over the covers it usually ends up on the floor next to my bed. Well, this morning when I woke up the remote was on the other side of the room, which can only means that at some point during my sleep I must have flicked my comforter up and the remote soared across the room. I mean the back (where the batteries go in) came off.

Weekend Recap:

Friday nite Liz and I went to a party in MT. Pleasant. We had to take a lot of breaks, but we also got to ride in a mini cooper.
Saturday, I met Phantom Planet - so cute. They signed my CD - I'm sucha dork.
Then we went to Saint Ex for Liz Ruby's birthday. Our group got spilt up - Sarah and Liz got wasted - i got belligerent - big surprise.
Sunday - I slept til 1:30 p.m. and then we went to the diner. I have never seen Diner Boy look cuter than yesterday. He was wearing a white thermal with a white vintage baseball jersey over it. OMG. I need to stop thinking about the boy and just forget him. And logic will break your heart forever.

Strange dream:

Last night I had a dream that I was acting in a porn movie with Liv Tyler. This may have to do with the fact that last night I watched Friends, "The One Where Chandler Can't Cry" and we find out that Ursula is making pornos using Phoebe's name.

Other weird things in my dream:

1. My cousin (my Dad's cousin's son - I don't understand that once/twice removed crap) Drew was dressed like a pimp.

2. There were other "actresses" upstairs, one of which was the HR Assistant in the UK, Jo. I have never met her before in my life, I only speak to her on the phone. In the dream I never see her I can only hear her voice.

3. There was another cousin of mine there as well, but I did not know who she was.

4. I never actually got to "act" in the film because there were too many distractions like the aforementioned characters as well as some additional characters that were visiting the site where we were shooting.

This is what I have learned from my dream:

To dream that you are in a porno film, suggests your desire to be more sexually adventurous. It also implies lust and wish-fulfillment.

This is true.

To see your cousin in your dream, represents something or some aspect of your character that is somewhat familiar. Perhaps you need to spend more time in cultivating and developing some emerging ability or character.

So, I need to pimp myself more?

To see an unknown person in your dream, signifies a part of yourself that is repressed and hidden. Alternatively, it symbolizes the archetypal dream helper who is trying to offer some insight and advice.


*Memo to the dream helper*

Find me a boy, while you're at it.

I want this sweatshirt:

I've been told that I need to blog, so here we go. . .

This is a 3-day weekend and I am thrilled about this. Tonight I am going to see Cold Mountain with Harris. I hope I can sit through this movie. My mom loved it. But its like 3 million years long and it is cold enough outside without having to watch a movie called COLD Mountain.

I have won tickets for the John Waters Meet-n-Greet at the Velvet Lounge for tomorrow. This is pretty cool. Other events for tomorrow include Cob's tea party and The Frequency at Velvet. Other things that I would to have happen tomorrow include going to the Diner (cuz I love to torture myself) and Liz and I are on a mission to find dates to The Butterfly Effect (starring Kutcher with a beard - so hot!) which comes out in theatres Jan. 23.

I have also been toying with the idea of pretending that I have work on Monday, like set the alarm clock, the whole bit, so that when I wake up on Monday it will be so refreshing when I realize that I can go back to bed for a million hours. But really its a toss-up between that and getting really drunk at a dance party.

Back to The Butterfly Effect. For those of you who don't know The "Butterfly Effect", or more technically known as the "sensitive dependence on initial conditions", is the essence of chaos. It is the assertion that the beating of a butterfly's wings in Tokyo can eventually change the weather in New York City. I think that I would like spend Monday discussing this in depth with somebody. To prep for this you can search "chaos theory" or "nonlinear dynamics." Let me know if you care to discuss.

I love Insound.

(taken from my Insound listserve e-mail):

L I Q U I D A T I O N S A L E : T H E O . C . E F F E C T

"I don't know if any of you watch Fox's new break-out smash 'The O.C.'
as much as I do. But I'm guessing that the answer is probably 'no'
because I Tivo it every week and watch it, commercial free, in repetition
all day Saturday. Then, on Wednesday night, I host an 'O.C. Tivo' party
at 9PM where my friends and I get to act out all the parts. Sure, most
of those friends are imaginary, but at least they let me play Summer,
the show's sexy and superficial, but maybe-with-a-good-heart 'Miss
Popular.' Anyway, so here's where I'm going with this. One of the shows main
characters, Seth Cohen, is a total Insounder. His favorite band is
Death Cab and whenever he comes on screen they roll the Belle & Sebastian
track.

Noticing this, I quickly got the Insound staff together and said, 'Do
you realize what's gonna happen? Seth is gonna totally turn Ryan into a
Fugazi fan. And then kids everywhere will be clamoring for indie rock
and they will all flock to Insound so we MUST make sure that we have
enough records for them. Go. Buy more records for the O.C. kids. Go. Now.
Dammit.' I called this the 'O.C. Effect' and I was certain that it
would make me filthy rich. Suffice it to say, those damn kids never
converted. And now we're sitting on lots of overstocks. We simply bought too
many records and now we need to sell then dirt cheap to you. Yeah. We
messed up. Damn you Seth Cohen. Damn you Ryan Atwood. Damn you Marissa
Cooper. Damn you all."

I am in the process of developing a new theory on the strange behaviors of the boys that we know (and basically all men in general.) These behaviors surfaced at the start of 2004. Since I have yet to begin the research on this project, I will only be able to tell you that it involves the Mission to Mars, the possibility of misaligned planets, possible alien abductions and the fact that Prez. Bush plans to colonize the moon in the next two decades.

I wish that I could blame these weird behaviors on the Santa Ana winds, but hopefully we will know the real cause soon.

Stay tuned for frequent updates . . .

In the meantime, Liz, Sarah - please keep your heads up and your eyes dry. Help is on its way. Soon we will be on Oprah.

Which O.C. babe are you?

My results: Your life may be a bit confusing, but that doesn't stop you from caring about what other people are going through. Which is why you're most like Marissa. Now all you need is a next-door neighbor just like Ryan . . .

We are cute, we like Karaoke. :-)

This just in ... The Strokes are currenly planning an eight-week tour starting in March. Tour dates to be announced at the end of January. Finally something to live for.

Oh my god... I just found a sesame seed on my desk and it made me realize that I have not had a bagel in over a week.

HELP - where the fuck is my bagel?!?

Highlights from Jan. 8 to present:

January 8th:

* My cubicle was festively decorated for my birthday, including a special birthday tiara that I wore most of the day. I received two bouquets of flowers, one from my boss Ted and one from my parents. I also received some Bath and Body Works lotions from Gwyneth - the best assistant from the UK ever. There was cake and my bosses gave me a Dave and Buster's giftcard (yay I'm 12 now.)

* Finally found Levante's in Dupont (across the street from the Olsson's that Phantom Planet will be doing an store appearance at on Jan. 24th.) Ate a lot - got really full - got some of the best presents ever (tea set, hair brush, wallet, anti-wrinkle cream, Phantom Planet CD.)

* My boss (the same one that got me flowers) called me at 10:30, while I was still at dinner, to ask me some retarded questions about work - yeah that was so important to interrupt my birthday dinner for.

* Went to the Raven - where I got more wonderful presents including some bling from Aimee. Paul tried to get me to do shots (but the thought of it made me sick since NYE). I also found out that I am the only girl in our group of friends that he has not made out with. That made me pissed for some reason, but do I really need reasons. Then I was pressured to either take a shot or make out with Paul (this pressure came only from Paul.) I chose to do neither.

January 9th:

* Slept til 11:00 then spent all day in bed watching TV and reading Franny and Zooey.

* Took a nap from 2:00 - 5:00.

* Used my new hair brush, which worked beautifully.

* Went to the Raven again.

* Went to the Diner with Liz and her troubled teens. John (aka Diner Boy) was there - said hi, asked what I was up to all while touching my shoulder. MEMO to Diner Boy: I gave you my e-mail address twice - but you never used it. SO - please don't touch me when you see me. If you don't like me, then don't talk to me. You are too cute and I am trying to not like you.

January 10th

* Woke up at 11:00 AM to go to the bank and buy cigarettes and gas.

* Watched Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - really good. I love Drew Barrymore in everything - she is so cool.

* Sarah came over - she is sad and going crazy. We tried to watch the Shape of Things, but it sucked, so we smoked a lot of cigarettes and watched SNL, it was funny.

January 11th

* Spent my time divided between my bed and the couch. Read Franny and Zooey. Watched The Original Italian Job, so funny - I love that late 60s humor.

* Watched the untitle bootleg cut of Almost Famous - which I decided is definitely in my top five favorite movies.

January 12th

* Work.

* Took my car in to get an estimate - it makes the most awful noises.

So, that is my unexciting life. Maybe after this spending detox I will have more exciting things to report. Right now everyone just wants me to council them - like I have all the answers or something. But I love to help out my friends and give them advice. I have always been told I am a good listener. So I am here to help as long as it doesn't conflict with The Gaunlet.

This just in . . .

Tomorrow is my birthday. I am going to be 24. I am also broke. I am in detox for spending, but not drinking. So get ready to drink with me tomorrow nite. But you are going to say, "Don't you have work on Friday?" And I am going to say, "Nope, but has that ever stopped me before?"

Things I have already asked for when I turn 24:

1. The new Phantom Planet self titled CD
2. Anti-wrinkle cream. Wrinkles are sad and I am getting older.

I have been asked to come up with a birthday wishlist, but I can't think of anything else to put on it. What does this mean? That I have everything I ever will want in life. NO. What I think this really means is that I am a complete spur of the moment shopper. I buy what I see and feel that I need at the time. So I can't really think ahead like that. I did want eskimo boots, but I read that if you don't have them already then you shouldn't even bother buying them. But, you can buy the variations (platforms, with pom poms), but I just wanted the basic eskimos. I also kinda wanted one of those Von Dutch hats that Kutcher made so popular, but once a bride wears one down the aisle, the trucker hat has kind of jumped the shark.


So to conclude ... Tomorrow is my birthday! :-)

This just in . . .

The Stills are playing at Fletcher's on January 28th. If you are smart you will attend this show. I have been listening to the Stills since the summer and I am Still in Love with them. I finally had the opportunity to see them open for the sold out Ryan Adams show at the 9:30 Club (thank you Ben for helping me get a ticket.) They even opened for themselves in the guise of another band, a joke band. The set was amazing - they have very good rock moves and are very cute. If you are not convinced yet then visit the website - they will let you listen to the entire album.

Sorry to tell all of you cell-phone addicted kids out there (Liz you won't have to worry about this one) - DC has finally banned driving while on your mobile.

Ray Davies from the Kinks was shot in the leg by thieves in New Orleans' French Quarter today.

"Don’t wanna get myself shot down ... I’m a twentieth century man but I don’t wanna die here."

Ah, 2004. So let's recap. I didn't want to go out on NYE, but I did. I kind of went with an 80's themed outfit, even wore sunglasses at nite. The party started at Liz's house. Sushi, champagne, cavier and amstel light, oh yeah Jay Z dance party too. This lasted until 10:30 when we realized that we needed to get over to the Velvet Lounge to see the Hard Tomorrows. We chugged the last of the champagne and hopped into a cab. At the Velvet, I remember another beer or two and some shots. The Hard Tomorrows were great. I was trashed. All I really remember is 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Happy New Year and Liz handing me another shot. I couldn't even finish the shot (it might have been whisky - can't remember.) I whispered to someone that I had to go outside and started to fumble through the crowd almost falling on a few people. I made it outside and into an alley where I proceded to sit down and puke. Apparently people were concerned about me, but that's how I do it - alone. When I was done and realized where I was I called Liz and told her to help me, I was in an alley. She came and got me out of the alley onto some stairs where I met up with Sarah and Liz Ruby. I think I puked a few more times, no one seemed to mind. I tried to get into a few random people's cars and I think I also called a few people on my cell phone prior to the alley incident. Eventually I was put in a cab with Liz Ruby and I went back to Liz Crow's house. I somehow managed to change into PJs (but not without smashing a champagne glass to pieces) and passed out on the couch. Liz and Sarah went to Rishi's party after they left Velvet - but you will have to ask them about that.

The next day was truly a hard tomorrow. I woke up at 8:00 AM and a few minutes later Sarah woke up. We walked down to 7-11 to get gatorade and croissants. It felt like the apocalypse because we were the only ones outside. Back at home, we got into Perry's bed and watched music videos for hours. Every single thing was making us hungry - so eventually we got up and drove to Popeye's and bought a lot of food. We ate so much on New Year's Day it is disgusting: chicken, fries, mashies, biscuits, Liz's roommate Maile bought us fruit and made us ice cream cones and mozarella sticks and cookies. We also went out to dinner and had salads and mac and cheeses. That is so much food. We watched hour after hour of I love the 80s and the same commercial for Hotwire.com where the dad is about to help his kid jump into the deep end of the swimming pool for the first time ever in life. The kid is so cute - he has little swimmies on, but then the kid tells his dad that there is a quarter in the pool and dad pushes kid out of the way into the pool and jumps in to get it. Sarah laughs hysterically everytime she sees this. I took 2 naps and felt gross the whole day.

On Friday, I went home and slept all day and then went to the movies with Sarah to see Something's Gotta Give. It was so depressing because of the wrinkles and now I am afraid of getting old. I love Amanda Peet and Keanu was so cute as the doctor. Now I need wrinkle cream for my birthday (which is on thursday). I also saw Anything Else and loved it.

On Saturday, I went grocery shopping for the first time in months and it was hard. I hate it - it gives me anxiety. Then I met Liz and Run Run at the musuem and we looked at the mammels - they are so cute. That nite I watched TV at Liz's and was in a bad mood.

Sunday - I did nothing except realize that I need to go into spending detox - so that brings us up-to-date.

Oh yeah and while I was doing all of that - Britney Spears got married in Vegas and had her marriage annuled.